Family Skills
May. 15th, 2026 06:34 pmSOULMATE, YOKEMATE, HOUSEMATE, HELPMATE
In OED2, soul-mate was listed under soul, n., along with other compounds, such as soul carrier, -curer, -thief, and -twister. The new OED3 Online gives it its own headword, soulmate, n. and updates the Coleridge quotation to what you see above (whereas OED2 had the slightly different “You must have a Soulmate as well as a House or Yoke-mate.”).
Coleridge’s neology is pretty good, but the analogy is a bit fuzzy. A house mate shares your house; And two things that are yoked are indeed paired – a yokemate is just the other term in a pairing, even if the idea of the yoke also carries a connotation of a shared burden
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Helpmate appears about fifty years later, perhaps as a reanalysis of helpmeet, OED2 saying that applies “chiefly to a wife or husband”,
A relationship can be built on many things, so think about what you want. Someone who touches your spirit? Someone to share the burdens of life, thereby making it easier overall? Someone to live with? Someone to help you do things? If it's just based on romance or sex, it's less likely to have the staying power of a relationship built on common life goals.
In OED2, soul-mate was listed under soul, n., along with other compounds, such as soul carrier, -curer, -thief, and -twister. The new OED3 Online gives it its own headword, soulmate, n. and updates the Coleridge quotation to what you see above (whereas OED2 had the slightly different “You must have a Soulmate as well as a House or Yoke-mate.”).
Coleridge’s neology is pretty good, but the analogy is a bit fuzzy. A house mate shares your house; And two things that are yoked are indeed paired – a yokemate is just the other term in a pairing, even if the idea of the yoke also carries a connotation of a shared burden
[---8<---]
Helpmate appears about fifty years later, perhaps as a reanalysis of helpmeet, OED2 saying that applies “chiefly to a wife or husband”,
A relationship can be built on many things, so think about what you want. Someone who touches your spirit? Someone to share the burdens of life, thereby making it easier overall? Someone to live with? Someone to help you do things? If it's just based on romance or sex, it's less likely to have the staying power of a relationship built on common life goals.
