pronker

In the spirit of a recent poll asking 'What is Slash?", I am asking "What is Crack?" Wikipedia says, "Crack!fic ... in which characters are put in very random, nonsensical situations ... OOCness ... derived from the drugs ... not to be confused with 'crack pairing' ... 'crack' meaning 'not commonly accepted or perhaps even thought-of element by fanfiction authors ... " So let's start out with what I believe crack!fic is not:

It isn't a dreamy, romantic story set in the blue glowzone of Force afterlife, like eryn-skynobi's The Conversation series, though the blending of Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Anakin Skywalker, Anakin Solo, Shmi Skywalker, Padme Amidala and offscene Yoda and the other departed Masters as characters make for an interesting set of circumstances. This is a completed story series with a unique sense of the capabilities of the Force, quite spooky in places. Anakin and Obi-Wan don't like it when the living place too many demands on the departed for advice. Anakin really doesn't like it later on, and makes great use of his Chosen One's powers. He wants his Obi-Wan and right now.

http://eryn-skynobi.livejournal.com/26678.html#cutid1

It isn't a high-flying party story like the Knights Out series by jedi-divas, which takes us into a rave for the newly-Knighted Jedi and the intertwined stories of who wants who, who is going to get who and who just wants to go home.  It's a WIP packed with funny situations and true feelings, misunderstandings and bartenders who will never forget this job, ever.

http://jedi-divas.livejournal.com/21788.html

Getting warmer, with parodies like Hot Robot Hand by jedishampoo, which is a songfic takeoff on Stover's Revenge of the Sith:

http://members.aol.com/jedishampoo/fanfiction/sw/robot.htm

and this funny review of ROTS in script form by evadne-noel

http://evadne-noel.livejournal.com/20062.html

not to mention the Obligatory Virgin Story by Haleth which manages to parody a Qui/Obi genre by making it into an Ani/Obi story:

http://www.heartofslash.com/html/obligatory_virgin_story.htm
But beyond parody, moving into fic with an original plot, wayout situations and a really long body of work (still WIP, darnit) there is Now This Would Never Happen in Star Wars, Would It by albydarned, with not one, but two Chosen Ones, written in response to a number of prompts, including my favorite, "You See, I Woke Up Gay." This story begins disarmingly like action/adventure, moves subtly into its main premise of sex-changed Anakin and onto its gloriosity here:

http://community.livejournal.com/omg_fics/2894.html#cutid1

This unique, imaginative take of the entire PT saga, and ILLUSTRATED, too, centers around the technical notes of Kenobi-Skywalker Version 3.0 OS as interpreted with impressive techno-speak by bodeewan and so well done it is, that it stands in the penultimate spot:

http://bodeewan.livejournal.com/12246.html#cutid1

Finally, this current RPG reigns supreme, as first touted by me as the very definition of crack!fic. It is faithfully updated (has space travel, even!) , and tons of Jude Watson's characters, complete with icons, in a complex story of love, crankiness and the responsibilities of proper pet care. It resides in its own community, with a talented group of members here:

http://community.livejournal.com/winduwatchers/

Extra Added Detraction:

This is the movie Troy (in fifteen minutes): another parody, what can I say? It's a weakness. It's very entertaining.

http://cleolinda.livejournal.com/99710.html

Extra, Extra Added Detraction:

Having flu means being wrapped in blankets in front of TCM last Wednesday night, watching Captains Of The Clouds, a 1942 movie directed by Michael Curtiz and starring James Cagney, Dennis Morgan, Brenda Marshall and Alan Hale. Cagney, Morgan and Hale are Canadian bush pilots and when opportunistic Cagney steals jobs from his comrades plus makes time with Morgan's fiancee, lovely, pouty-in-her-40's-tailored-blouse Marshall, fireballs ensue. An injury to Cagney makes Morgan fetch a doctor to a beautiful (filmed in Technicolor, too) Canadian lake for an emergency operation. Cagney is grateful, so grateful that he deliberately marries Marshall to save Morgan from her money-grubbing ways. Morgan has expounded on his dream of forming his own airline to both Cagney and Marshall, and Morgan and Marshall have a lovely scene where Marshall begs Morgan to take her away from the backcountry to glamorous Ottawa and also away from the convalescing lover-boy Cagney.

Righteous Morgan: "No! My wife will start married life in someplace with running water and electricity! Wait, darling, just a little more ..."

Knows-herself-and-hates-it Marshall: "Please take me with you! I, I just need to get away from ... here ..." (She has also been flirting with a farmhand).

Dom!Morgan: "I said no. We'll go to beautiful downtown Ottawa and paint the town red on our honeymoon. One more season, Emily ... "

Marshall: "All right." (gets look of sick resignation.)

After Cagney marries her, he dumps her, throwing all his earnings of four thousand (Canadian, so it doesn't hurt as much) dollars at her before walking out of their honeymoon suite.

Negligee'd Marshall: "Why did you marry me, if you're going to treat me this way?!"

Cagney: "I married you so that HE wouldn't have to."

Marshall:   "Eeeeuuuurrrggghh!" (throws vase, then runs to stash of cash and counts it as Cagney departs for RCAF camp, where Morgan will be his CO, but we knew that was going to happen.)

This movie has tons of good old Curtiz' male bonding, a glorious amount of flying footage, a touch of hurt/comfort, Air Marshal Billy Bishop's recruiting speech preserved on film, and a suitable ending for recruiting US viewers to support Canada and the Allies (as I believe it was filmed before Pearl Harbor.) And loads of suggestiveness, 40's style: When remonstrated for removing his bandage prior to leaving with Morgan for work, Cagney is asked by Marshall, "But what if you aren't strong enough yet?" His back to Morgan, Cagney eyes her up and down, smirks and continues dressing. Marshall eyeballs Morgan standing RIGHT THERE, drops her gaze and shuts up. Morgan: "Let's go, pal!" Oh yes, this was fun in the Canadian sun, loaded with patriotism and a stirring speech by Churchill: " ... we shall fight them on the beaches ... we shall never surrender ... " Or of course, you know, Morgan and Cagney were very close co-workers, even if Cagney's heated looks say the depths of his devotion. Curtiz has directed a highly-entertaining lime. He also directed Casablanca. 'Nuff said.